Untitled​.​crashed​.​crashed​.​crashed

by Ed The Dog

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    Preorder the vinyl LP ‘Untitled.crashed.crashed.crashed’ by Ed The Dog. Released via ALLONEWORD Records on limited edition vinyl (lot of 100)

    Expected shipping in Spring 2021.

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    Preorder the first in a series of ‘LTD Ed’ T-shirt designs. 100 available, never to be reprinted.

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    Artwork by Ed Wetenhall.

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1.
Everybody, I love you and I'm so sorry I’m not the man that you think I am Everybody I’m worthless Ashamed to cry To hold and be held - not part of my life Everybody I’m angry and scared to touch I’m an open book, yet the text has been blocked out It’s like asthma, but it’s in my head An absence of breath despite so much air ...and it’s coming for me. Though I go on and on... It’s coming for me. Where did I go wrong? Was it even my fault? What led me here and what can take me forward? Everybody I’m broken Scared of the truth Just tell me what I’ve done wrong and I’ll change for you ‘cause I am trying and I’m probably gonna lose. Everybody, I love you Do you love me too? Everybody I love you But it’s not the same A beating heart crushed beneath blue veins I’ve tried so hard to be loved by you, but it doesn’t work Not even close to the truth It’s always happening In the wings of the stage ‘neath trodden boards or beyond our gaze ...and it’s coming for me Though I go on and on and on It’s coming for me It’s coming for me To love and be loved - not synonymous truths An ageing man using children’s tissues Everybody I’m running Running away The soles of latex begin to fray Everybody I’m frightened by the things I’ve done Tried to do good and it’s gone so wrong But I am trying Even though I’m gonna lose Everybody, I love you. Do you love me too? ...and it’s coming for me Though I go on and on and on and on It’s coming for me It’s coming for me Where did I go wrong? Was it even my fault? What led me here and what can take me forward? Everybody I’m broken Scared of the truth Just tell me what I’ve done wrong and I’ll change for you ‘cause I am trying Even though I’m gonna lose Everybody, I love you ‘cause I am trying Even though I’m gonna lose everybody I love you Do you love me too? Everybody I love you Everybody, I’m scared Everybody, I’m broken Everybody, I’m human Everybody, I’m tasteless Everybody, I’m sick Everybody, I’ve done wrong But everybody, I’m a good kid Everybody, I love you.
2.
God bless modern car design The steel frame of a ford KA Saved my life on new year's day I think about it all the time Rolling over in the snow What a way to go This is me I’m done Another crumpled body at the side of the A1 Then I kick my way through the window Grab my phone Without a scratch to show Hope someone saw me freezing by the side of the road When some total hero pulls up in a hi-vis jacket Gives me his cardigan and a packet of polos So I just said to him… “Thank you buddy - sorry that I didn’t put your number in my phone right.” I’m sitting in a dog rescue home About ten of us staring at a paper cup of cocoa Thanking our lucky stars that only one guy was hospitalised Driving through the night in a one time, localised, suddenly American horror show “Officer, I only had two glasses of wine last night.” “When my brother proposed, I couldn't see out of the window!” “It all happened in slo-mo” The last train is at eleven PM I’m not local “Is there anyone who can come get me?” “Don’t worry son. Where’d you need to go?” So what I said was Thank you buddy
3.
The Milk 03:10
I drop the milk right in front of your desk But it didn’t crack It only dented the plastic I’m crushed ‘Cause it’s so pedantic I could curl up in a ball of embarrassment I’m ready for a break I could snap in super 8 I can feel it on my tongue The sentimental energy numb The bag ruptured and I can feel the pain on my breath Dropped the milk but the nerves - they haven't gone yet We’re lost I know I’m too cut off We’re bombs But I float ‘Cause my fuse is too long I grab the concept off the floor from your eyes and I wish I’d picked the self service line I quiver at the inevitability of another guess ‘cause you could laugh it up Talk about me with your friends I’m ready for a break I could snap in super 8 I can feel it on my tongue The sentimental energy numb The bag ruptured and I can feel the pain on my breath Dropped the milk HAH! but the nerves - they haven't gone yet We’re lost I know I’m too cut off We’re bombs But I float ‘Cause my fuse is too long I’m ready for a break I could snap in super 8 I can feel it on my tongue The sentimental energy numb The bag ruptured and I can feel the pain on my breath Dropped the milk but the nerves - they haven't gone yet Oh no they haven’t gone yet We’re lost I know I’m too cut off We’re bombs But I float ‘Cause my fuse is too long We’re lost and I’m scared I don’t know what’s going on In my head but my heart knows exactly what’s wrong My fuse is too long
4.
Found out I’d find you when you least know Somehow I bite you but you don’t go Common sense and mutual respect though Might take me a second I’m real slow Late to the party Stunted growth Pleased that he’s ‘Arty’ But impatient Complex path Curricula discord Good natured or nurtured a real bore? Have I ever been whole? With and between you Subtle Things One day I’ll fight you and I won’t win Feel like one half of a whole thing Hurts like hell when no one's the right fit Have I ever been whole? Could be next to the real thing
5.
“Hey! How are you doing? What’s your life been like lately? Wow! You’re still doing this?! I mean, that’s great! Looks appealing… But what’s your long term goal? When you’re old, will you be freezing??” “Now wait! Tell me your fears Gonna shift gear? Change career till it becomes clear?” What if my brain tells me ‘She’s the love of my life.’ But my body says ‘You’re gonna skin me alive.’ “Hey! Do you feel corrupted? Like your one play thing now only has a function?” Well that’s to say You’re only real when you service your wife, your phone, or you ego “Now wait! There’s more to it! When you look back over your life What did you do with it?” Now what if my brain tells me ‘She’s the love of my life.’ But my body says ‘You’re gonna skin me alive.’ My brain tells me ‘Ed, you’re doing just fine.’ But my body says ‘You’re gonna skin me alive.’ I’m nothing without you Taking all the risks and bury your soul You gotta think of all the things that could have unfolded if you worked harder and were less depressed in general Put yourself aside and pick up your broken pencil Jack Saunders can go fuck himself if he thinks I’m gonna compromise on any line for him This is who I am and what I do I’ll decide who gets to kill it Know what I mean? My brain tells me ‘She’s the love of my life.’ But my body says ‘You’re gonna skin me alive.’ My brain tells me ‘Ed, you’re doing just fine.’ But my body says ‘You’re gonna skin me alive.’
6.
Slam a door and I’m sorry Don’t wanna get into your car Never held back till lately But something’s come up Need to assess my past It’s never going to be easy without me “Other than” Well who’s that? It’s me apparently “So special” What a good boy! You’d never disagree One human to another I’m not sure I’m the man you mean Pulse flickers under wrist I can taste it but I can’t dismiss I’ve struggled with the open air ‘cause I’m unaware Took a walk through the woods at the top of my road and got lost Found myself at a party Walking the dog through the drunks “So stupid” Why’d you say that? He just acts like himself “Can’t manage” Well not when you put him up up on a shelf “Where’d she go?” I don’t know Just showed her myself “So special” I’m helpless to be held by someone else Pulse flickers under wrist I can taste it but I can’t dismiss I’ve struggled with the open air ‘cause I’m unaware
7.
I’ve never seen somebody else make a coffee right I’ve never seen somebody else brush their rotten teeth white I’ve never tried to be someone that’d judge a man by his bite But I’d rather rip out every one of my fillings than try your way of life ...and so I’d stake all of my wrongs against every time you think you’ve done a good thing son ‘cause I could take all of this on But then you’d go “Don’t try Just give up ‘cause it’s a post-post world” You always say you support your local bookshop right? But then it’s only a pound plus shipping when you buy it online I’ve never someone make their tea with a knife But I’d rather be wrong in the gaze of opinion than be your kind of right But oh my god. Come on. Dig deep. You should be able to feel it somewhere near your solar plexus. The shame. The guilt. It’s not true. Just let go. Do you. ...and so I’d stake all of my wrongs against every time you think you’ve done a good thing son ‘cause I could take all of this on But then you’d go “Don’t try Just give up ‘cause it’s a post-post world” Post-post-post-post-post-post-post-post… ...and so I’d stake all of my wrongs against every time you think you’ve done a good thing son ‘cause I could take all of this on But then you’d go “Don’t try Just give up ‘cause it’s a post-post world”
8.
True Love 04:13
True love and baby Oh that’d be so nice to come home to A responsibility I’d shake with pride every time that I see you But you won’t give me a try I could be the man you need Or I could feel like somebody else when you hold me Lacking stability It’s high rent Back paid debt in our routine Have I not given enough? I’ve tried so hard to be in love Woke up alone only yesterday Felt your warm breath on my neck again But you won’t give me a try Where’s the compromise? ‘cause you won’t give me a try Oh man I’m not alright You won’t give me a try You won’t give me a try You won’t give me a try Oh man I’m not alright “You want something that no one else can give you Career Belonging Peace from within too I would be lying if I said I hate you But you’re far from someone I respect You’re shaking and taking Making it up as you go along with me A psychopath baiting Promising nothing and manipulating God how I take it No wonder you hate this Mollycoddled and held like a babe You're fractured in two and the fission is raping You scream you ‘love me’ But I think you’re wasting your words on me when you need rearranging ‘Cause that is the truth Ed You need to love yourself Need to stand up and take your own damn help That is the truth Ed You need to love yourself That is the truth You need to love yourself” But you won’t give me a try Where’s the compromise? ‘cause you won’t give me a try Oh man I’m not alright You won’t give me a try You won’t give me a try You won’t give me a try Oh man I’m not alright
9.
I’m lying under a table Mark looks me dead in the eye Paracetamol wrapped in bacon “Do you want to go for a walk tonight?” But the undergrowth scares me Mark Lost things Deep holes in the fault line Stick to the path Don’t lead us astray in the dark Winter snakes in the brief light Are you lonely? Come and join me I’ll love you so much Loneliness would be forgot Now you’re flicking through an old gardening textbook What seeds grow in summertime? Can you tell me? A self-help book bound in plastic ‘cause who needs empty words when you’re outside But Zak I’m so scared of getting old What if I’m not loved in my brief life? I’m so selfish! Let’s play in the park Don’t stop to smell the plants I want you to myself in the sunshine Are you lonely? Come and join me I’ll love you so much Loneliness would be forgot Why can’t it work? Don’t make it worse ‘cause I’m just a dog looking for love in the world Well there’s pain and then you’re gone But man I’ve dreamt of it But I’ll never know Until I have a go A go Are you lonely? Come and join me I’ll love you so much Loneliness would be forgot Why can’t it work? Don’t make it worse ‘cause I’m just a dog looking for love in the world Can’t make it right Promise I don’t bite ‘cause I’ll be your dog I’ll be your dog I’ll be your dog I’ll be your dog
10.
Never too late to be honest Never too late to be yourself Throwing a fit on the tube one day when somebody comes and knocks you out Is that death in the distance? Suddenly wake up in a daze A rush of blood from my head to my gut Oh my god Life’s just a phase I’m gonna change that Never too late to question Is this a window that’s not double glazed? Never too late to pick yourself up when you shatter on the ground again. Or are scared to be different? Are you afraid to be torn apart? Never too late for one more shot How can you say that you’re not good enough? I’m gonna change that Just get me away from myself Are you afraid to be all alone? OxyContin, stuck at the bottom How’s Em doing on her own? Are you scared that you won’t be the same person that you thought you were? They made it up It’s how everyone gets stuck in the rut of who they are or what they know I’m gonna change that Never too late to be honest Never too late to be yourself Never too late to pick yourself up Never too late for one more shot Never too late to quit your job Never too late to get a great bod Never too late to start your band Never too late to call your friends back Never too late to tell her you love her Never too late write that letter Never too late to give up watching porn Never too late to stand up for yourself Never too late to learn Spanish “Nunca es tarde para aprender inglés” Never too late to get the ferry to Ireland Never too late to change your opinion Never too late to investigate your bi-curiosity Never too late to apologise Never too late to go to counselling Never too late to read Lord of the Rings Never too late to not be miserable Never too late to love yourself Never too late to change that Never too late to change that Never too late to change that Never too late to change that Never too late to change that Never too late to change that

credits

released December 11, 2020

Written and recorded by Ed The Dog
Produced by Ed Wetenhall and Charlie Lashmar
Mastered by Ben Booker
Artwork by Ed Wetenhall
Ed The Dog 2020
ALLONEWORD Records 2020
Interstellar Music Group 2020

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