1. |
Everybody, I Love You
04:16
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Everybody, I love you and I'm so sorry
I’m not the man that you think I am
Everybody I’m worthless
Ashamed to cry
To hold and be held - not part of my life
Everybody I’m angry and scared to touch
I’m an open book, yet the text has been blocked out
It’s like asthma, but it’s in my head
An absence of breath despite so much air
...and it’s coming for me. Though I go on and on...
It’s coming for me.
Where did I go wrong?
Was it even my fault?
What led me here and what can take me forward?
Everybody I’m broken
Scared of the truth
Just tell me what I’ve done wrong and I’ll change for you
‘cause I am trying and I’m probably gonna lose.
Everybody, I love you
Do you love me too?
Everybody I love you
But it’s not the same
A beating heart crushed beneath blue veins
I’ve tried so hard to be loved by you, but it doesn’t work
Not even close to the truth
It’s always happening
In the wings of the stage
‘neath trodden boards or beyond our gaze
...and it’s coming for me
Though I go on and on and on
It’s coming for me
It’s coming for me
To love and be loved - not synonymous truths
An ageing man using children’s tissues
Everybody I’m running
Running away
The soles of latex begin to fray
Everybody I’m frightened by the things I’ve done
Tried to do good and it’s gone so wrong
But I am trying
Even though I’m gonna lose
Everybody, I love you. Do you love me too?
...and it’s coming for me
Though I go on and on and on and on
It’s coming for me
It’s coming for me
Where did I go wrong?
Was it even my fault?
What led me here and what can take me forward?
Everybody I’m broken
Scared of the truth
Just tell me what I’ve done wrong and I’ll change for you
‘cause I am trying
Even though I’m gonna lose
Everybody, I love you
‘cause I am trying
Even though I’m gonna lose everybody
I love you
Do you love me too?
Everybody I love you
Everybody, I’m scared
Everybody, I’m broken
Everybody, I’m human
Everybody, I’m tasteless
Everybody, I’m sick
Everybody, I’ve done wrong
But everybody, I’m a good kid
Everybody, I love you.
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2. |
Thank You Buddy
02:52
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God bless modern car design
The steel frame of a ford KA
Saved my life on new year's day
I think about it all the time
Rolling over in the snow
What a way to go
This is me
I’m done
Another crumpled body at the side of the A1
Then I kick my way through the window
Grab my phone
Without a scratch to show
Hope someone saw me freezing by the side of the road
When some total hero pulls up in a hi-vis jacket
Gives me his cardigan and a packet of polos
So I just said to him…
“Thank you buddy - sorry that I didn’t put your number in my phone right.”
I’m sitting in a dog rescue home
About ten of us staring at a paper cup of cocoa
Thanking our lucky stars that only one guy was hospitalised
Driving through the night in a one time, localised, suddenly American horror show
“Officer, I only had two glasses of wine last night.”
“When my brother proposed, I couldn't see out of the window!”
“It all happened in slo-mo”
The last train is at eleven PM
I’m not local
“Is there anyone who can come get me?”
“Don’t worry son. Where’d you need to go?”
So what I said was
Thank you buddy
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3. |
The Milk
03:10
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I drop the milk right in front of your desk
But it didn’t crack
It only dented the plastic
I’m crushed
‘Cause it’s so pedantic
I could curl up in a ball of embarrassment
I’m ready for a break
I could snap in super 8
I can feel it on my tongue
The sentimental energy numb
The bag ruptured and I can feel the pain on my breath
Dropped the milk but the nerves - they haven't gone yet
We’re lost
I know
I’m too cut off
We’re bombs
But I float
‘Cause my fuse is too long
I grab the concept off the floor from your eyes and I wish I’d picked the self service line
I quiver at the inevitability of another guess
‘cause you could laugh it up
Talk about me with your friends
I’m ready for a break
I could snap in super 8
I can feel it on my tongue
The sentimental energy numb
The bag ruptured and I can feel the pain on my breath
Dropped the milk
HAH!
but the nerves - they haven't gone yet
We’re lost
I know
I’m too cut off
We’re bombs
But I float
‘Cause my fuse is too long
I’m ready for a break
I could snap in super 8
I can feel it on my tongue
The sentimental energy numb
The bag ruptured and I can feel the pain on my breath
Dropped the milk but the nerves - they haven't gone yet
Oh no they haven’t gone yet
We’re lost
I know
I’m too cut off
We’re bombs
But I float
‘Cause my fuse is too long
We’re lost and I’m scared
I don’t know what’s going on
In my head but my heart knows exactly what’s wrong
My fuse is too long
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4. |
Subtle Things
03:38
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Found out I’d find you when you least know
Somehow I bite you but you don’t go
Common sense and mutual respect though
Might take me a second
I’m real slow
Late to the party
Stunted growth
Pleased that he’s ‘Arty’
But impatient
Complex path
Curricula discord
Good natured or nurtured a real bore?
Have I ever been whole?
With and between you
Subtle Things
One day I’ll fight you and I won’t win
Feel like one half of a whole thing
Hurts like hell when no one's the right fit
Have I ever been whole?
Could be next to the real thing
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5. |
||||
“Hey!
How are you doing?
What’s your life been like lately?
Wow! You’re still doing this?!
I mean, that’s great!
Looks appealing…
But what’s your long term goal?
When you’re old, will you be freezing??”
“Now wait!
Tell me your fears
Gonna shift gear?
Change career till it becomes clear?”
What if my brain tells me
‘She’s the love of my life.’
But my body says
‘You’re gonna skin me alive.’
“Hey!
Do you feel corrupted?
Like your one play thing now only has a function?”
Well that’s to say
You’re only real when you service your wife, your phone, or you ego
“Now wait!
There’s more to it!
When you look back over your life
What did you do with it?”
Now what if my brain tells me
‘She’s the love of my life.’
But my body says
‘You’re gonna skin me alive.’
My brain tells me
‘Ed, you’re doing just fine.’
But my body says
‘You’re gonna skin me alive.’
I’m nothing without you
Taking all the risks and bury your soul
You gotta think of all the things that could have unfolded if you worked harder and were less depressed in general
Put yourself aside and pick up your broken pencil
Jack Saunders can go fuck himself if he thinks I’m gonna compromise on any line for him
This is who I am and what I do
I’ll decide who gets to kill it
Know what I mean?
My brain tells me
‘She’s the love of my life.’
But my body says
‘You’re gonna skin me alive.’
My brain tells me
‘Ed, you’re doing just fine.’
But my body says
‘You’re gonna skin me alive.’
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6. |
||||
Slam a door and I’m sorry
Don’t wanna get into your car
Never held back till lately
But something’s come up
Need to assess my past
It’s never going to be easy without me
“Other than”
Well who’s that?
It’s me apparently
“So special”
What a good boy!
You’d never disagree
One human to another
I’m not sure I’m the man you mean
Pulse flickers under wrist
I can taste it but I can’t dismiss
I’ve struggled with the open air
‘cause I’m unaware
Took a walk through the woods at the top of my road and got lost
Found myself at a party
Walking the dog through the drunks
“So stupid”
Why’d you say that?
He just acts like himself
“Can’t manage”
Well not when you put him up up on a shelf
“Where’d she go?”
I don’t know
Just showed her myself
“So special”
I’m helpless to be held by someone else
Pulse flickers under wrist
I can taste it but I can’t dismiss
I’ve struggled with the open air
‘cause I’m unaware
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7. |
Post Post World
03:28
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I’ve never seen somebody else make a coffee right
I’ve never seen somebody else brush their rotten teeth white
I’ve never tried to be someone that’d judge a man by his bite
But I’d rather rip out every one of my fillings than try your way of life
...and so I’d stake all of my wrongs against every time you think you’ve done a good thing son
‘cause I could take all of this on
But then you’d go
“Don’t try
Just give up
‘cause it’s a post-post world”
You always say you support your local bookshop right?
But then it’s only a pound plus shipping when you buy it online
I’ve never someone make their tea with a knife
But I’d rather be wrong in the gaze of opinion than be your kind of right
But oh my god. Come on. Dig deep. You should be able to feel it somewhere near your solar plexus. The shame. The guilt. It’s not true. Just let go. Do you.
...and so I’d stake all of my wrongs against every time you think you’ve done a good thing son
‘cause I could take all of this on
But then you’d go
“Don’t try
Just give up
‘cause it’s a post-post world”
Post-post-post-post-post-post-post-post…
...and so I’d stake all of my wrongs against every time you think you’ve done a good thing son
‘cause I could take all of this on
But then you’d go
“Don’t try
Just give up
‘cause it’s a post-post world”
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8. |
True Love
04:13
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True love and baby
Oh that’d be so nice to come home to
A responsibility
I’d shake with pride every time that I see you
But you won’t give me a try
I could be the man you need
Or I could feel like somebody else when you hold me
Lacking stability
It’s high rent
Back paid debt in our routine
Have I not given enough?
I’ve tried so hard to be in love
Woke up alone only yesterday
Felt your warm breath on my neck again
But you won’t give me a try
Where’s the compromise?
‘cause you won’t give me a try
Oh man
I’m not alright
You won’t give me a try
You won’t give me a try
You won’t give me a try
Oh man
I’m not alright
“You want something that no one else can give you
Career
Belonging
Peace from within too
I would be lying if I said I hate you
But you’re far from someone I respect
You’re shaking and taking
Making it up as you go along with me
A psychopath baiting
Promising nothing and manipulating
God how I take it
No wonder you hate this
Mollycoddled and held like a babe
You're fractured in two and the fission is raping
You scream you ‘love me’
But I think you’re wasting your words on me when you need rearranging
‘Cause that is the truth Ed
You need to love yourself
Need to stand up and take your own damn help
That is the truth Ed
You need to love yourself
That is the truth
You need to love yourself”
But you won’t give me a try
Where’s the compromise?
‘cause you won’t give me a try
Oh man
I’m not alright
You won’t give me a try
You won’t give me a try
You won’t give me a try
Oh man
I’m not alright
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9. |
I'll Be Your Dog
04:42
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I’m lying under a table
Mark looks me dead in the eye
Paracetamol wrapped in bacon
“Do you want to go for a walk tonight?”
But the undergrowth scares me Mark
Lost things
Deep holes in the fault line
Stick to the path
Don’t lead us astray in the dark
Winter snakes in the brief light
Are you lonely?
Come and join me
I’ll love you so much
Loneliness would be forgot
Now you’re flicking through an old gardening textbook
What seeds grow in summertime?
Can you tell me?
A self-help book bound in plastic
‘cause who needs empty words when you’re outside
But Zak I’m so scared of getting old
What if I’m not loved in my brief life?
I’m so selfish!
Let’s play in the park
Don’t stop to smell the plants
I want you to myself in the sunshine
Are you lonely?
Come and join me
I’ll love you so much
Loneliness would be forgot
Why can’t it work?
Don’t make it worse
‘cause I’m just a dog looking for love in the world
Well there’s pain and then you’re gone
But man I’ve dreamt of it
But I’ll never know
Until I have a go
A go
Are you lonely?
Come and join me
I’ll love you so much
Loneliness would be forgot
Why can’t it work?
Don’t make it worse
‘cause I’m just a dog looking for love in the world
Can’t make it right
Promise I don’t bite
‘cause I’ll be your dog
I’ll be your dog
I’ll be your dog
I’ll be your dog
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10. |
I'm Gonna Change That
04:09
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Never too late to be honest
Never too late to be yourself
Throwing a fit on the tube one day when somebody comes and knocks you out
Is that death in the distance?
Suddenly wake up in a daze
A rush of blood from my head to my gut
Oh my god
Life’s just a phase
I’m gonna change that
Never too late to question
Is this a window that’s not double glazed?
Never too late to pick yourself up when you shatter on the ground again.
Or are scared to be different?
Are you afraid to be torn apart?
Never too late for one more shot
How can you say that you’re not good enough?
I’m gonna change that
Just get me away from myself
Are you afraid to be all alone?
OxyContin, stuck at the bottom
How’s Em doing on her own?
Are you scared that you won’t be the same person that you thought you were?
They made it up
It’s how everyone gets stuck in the rut of who they are or what they know
I’m gonna change that
Never too late to be honest
Never too late to be yourself
Never too late to pick yourself up
Never too late for one more shot
Never too late to quit your job
Never too late to get a great bod
Never too late to start your band
Never too late to call your friends back
Never too late to tell her you love her
Never too late write that letter
Never too late to give up watching porn
Never too late to stand up for yourself
Never too late to learn Spanish
“Nunca es tarde para aprender inglés”
Never too late to get the ferry to Ireland
Never too late to change your opinion
Never too late to investigate your bi-curiosity
Never too late to apologise
Never too late to go to counselling
Never too late to read Lord of the Rings
Never too late to not be miserable
Never too late to love yourself
Never too late to change that
Never too late to change that
Never too late to change that
Never too late to change that
Never too late to change that
Never too late to change that
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